You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
