Small penises have feelings too.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
