Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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