I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize