I could make wine with my vomit
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
