Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
