Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
