Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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