so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You ate ashes out of my bong
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
