around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
