You just made me feel so damn special
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
