Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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