can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
