just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
