are you still at the devil's house?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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