Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
