She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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