I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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