also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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