Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
