I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
