Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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