Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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