you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
