belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
