some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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