Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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