I love black thongs
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
