It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
