Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
