I'm eating all of the evidence.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
