So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
