your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just found a bag of teeth...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize