so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
