arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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