This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
