i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize