I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
