Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
