I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
