It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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