Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
