Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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