hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize