I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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