Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize