Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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