I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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