I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
