I like to think it a success when the cops are called
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
