we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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