I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
