You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
