She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
