Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just high enough for therapy.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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