he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
