last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize