This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
