Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
