youre lurking in front of me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
