She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
