just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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