i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
not ubering you a puppy
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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